Monday, August 11, 2008

Anxiety is So Damn Tiring

In an average month, roughly 4 million people Google the word "anxiety." Last month, that number was up to about 5 million. That's a lot of us. And some of us who tend to be tense have never even done a search on the word.

I bring this up because I'm prone to freefloating anxiety myself, which expresses itself, for example, in the fear I made some ghastly error which I'll soon find out about or left a door unlocked or a burner on. Weird intangible stuff like that.

When I have real things to worry about or to be upset about, my perverse reflexive strategy is to feel anxious about something unrelated.

For example, I'm currently feeling the effects of a distant relative dying Saturday (a blow for a bunch of people who are close to me), another family member having tests for worrisome symptoms (a long drawn-out process), and yet another one who is sick and refusing treatment that could solve the problem.

My response: to worry about my work, to fear (quite irrationally) that I won't get projects finished fast enough, to be a bit twitchy, and feel my immune system going on vacation. This is all just as crazy as driving back to the office at night to be sure I locked the door. To deal with this, I'm advised to:

1. meditate
2. exercise
3. be sad
4. and then just go about my business.

But these are the times that it's difficult to get myself to meditate and get exercise, to stick to the usual disciplines.

Instead, I would like to simply stop being anxious, without having to do all that. Conversely, I could simply decide that anxious is how I am just now and ignore it.

The main thing is: it's tiring. It takes energy I could use in better ways.

And based on Google figures, I'm not the only person like this. So what shall we do about this? Meditate and exercise? Surely there's an easier way.

Let's invent one. (Note: when it gets pathological, drugs help a lot, but aren't the whole answer.) (Additional note: overeating while feeling nothing is not a good strategy at all.)

Imagine how the world might improve if four million people a month were doing something more interesting than Googling "anxiety."



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